The Stuff That Never Happened

I'm an occasional blogger. It is something that I do enjoy when I make time for it...and usually when my sister has given me a deadline. Like when I did Gwen Bell's Best of 2009 posts. I did a few, okay?? And then I stopped. I ran out of time, or motivation. Or they just fell down my list of priorities. It's unfortunate, because I did really enjoy the reflection that writing those posts afforded me. Capturing my thoughts in that way - what a great little record! It is time consuming though, to reflect on one's experiences, and so I left it behind.

I used to feel guilty when I let these things fall by the wayside, in thier place a bustling family, my almost-daily yoga practice, time with friends, and a hectic work life. But I have decided that my blog is really just for me. I will write here when I feel like it, and usually when my sister has prompted me to do something. And it will be what it is. No pressure.

Okay, a little bit of pressure. Because today is Book Club Day! Linsey has founded this wonderful site called From Left to Write, and she has graciously let me into this marvelous group, full of great writers and bloggers). We have the opportunity to read books together and write about our experience of them. What we think about as we read them. How they affect us. Different than my in-person book club here in St. John's, which is also great...the From Left to Write club is a supplement to that.

So when I read "The Stuff that Never Happened" by Maddie Dawson, I thought a lot about the responsibility to one's own self and to the happiness of others. How do we decide what we focus on? Who we focus on? And when? Does your own happiness and the pursuit of it trump that of others? Is it that airplane safety thing where you have to get your own oxygen mask on before assisting others? Or instead, when we focus on the happiness of others, does that in fact lead us to our own content?

I am starting to think it's the later. As a mommy, this is truly tough. Of course, it's very natural for us to respond to every little yelp from our kids. Like the scene in the book when Annabelle is woken up by her daughter in the middle of the night for a chat:

"'Mom. Mom, wake up. I have to ask you something."

I sit straight up in bed, on my ready-to-jump-in-a-taxi alert. The word Mom has always been able to do that to me - even uttered from five rooms away and in a hoarse whisper, it can jolt me out of the deepest sleep. I think of it like the special red phone in the White House. 

So we have that issue. It's in our instincts, and it's crucial that we have that. And at a certain point, we have to start taking care of ourselves a little bit so we have energy to send back into the universe. This was my primary goal, in fact, when I started doing yoga again. When I do yoga every day, I just feel better. I have more patience. I am clearer. Good, right?

While I was reading "The Stuff that Never Happened," I also was (am still) reading "How Yoga Works," by Gesme Michael Roach and Christie McNally. Several revelations ensued. I am recommending this book right, left, and center. Utterly fascinating and simple things. And it's a novel! A section I just read describes how the way to break up the blockages in the body from the inside (as opposed to from the outside, but this is a bit complicated, you'll have to read the book!) compassion is the way to do it. And compassion requires that you take someone else's pain away, even to the point of taking it on yourself. And once you take away their pain, then you give something to them, even giving them something that is most valuable to you.

These are the things I'm thinking about, as I read these books, as I try to have patience with my children amidst the craziness, as I practice on my own and within the kula, as I pursue the education of this existence.

So as I make my daily choices, the ones that add up to big moments and events and pathways that hook me to my life and those of others, I have the freedom to make up my life in whatever way works. It might be with "stuff that never happened," it might be hard at times, I may have to create things out of nothing. What a delight life is.

**Note: As a member of From Left to Write, I disclose that I received this book for free, and that this is not a review of the book.  

Comments

[Linsey Krolik]

It is a different view of self-love and one that I find inspiring. To bring yourself by happiness by serving others is quite the opposite of selfishness, it is seeing yourself as truly connected to the universe. I love this practice with you. AND that you joined the From Left to Write book club, sister. Namaste :)

[MicheleSpringFajeau]

Life is delightful and a gift when we can make choices that make us feel alive and connected to the people around us. Thanks Robin!

[Mamasick]

It seems like you are working hard to find that balance of being a mom vs. being the person we used to be and are doing it! I am so glad that this book provided you with some revelations.